Saturday 24 March 2007

rapunzel

This is no story about my adventures in HK, so if that’s what you are after, you should stop reading right now. I know that my blog description might be misleading that way, so I do apologise for that. This is just me thinking out load…

The last week has been truly boring. I’ve been sick and have more or less spent all my waken hours in my pretty dotty sofa. Reading books and watching movies. (I’ve had a head ache, temperature and sore throat, so nothing life threatening, but never the less, it has made me feel totally drained of energy and after 4 days at home I’m still not good. Very frustrating indeed).

However, at times I have also taken the few steps required to get from my sofa out onto my lovely little balcony. I’ve stood there, looking down at the street beneath me, at the people walking there, I've missed being active, going to the gym, seeing and being around people (pathetic I know after just a few days...) and consequently at times I’ve felt trapped …like Rapunzel. (You know the story about the girl with long hair stuck in that tower…). Only thing is that I don’t have that long hair… and no prince neither standing at the bottom of my house, ready to rescue me and sweep me off my feet, shouting: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair"…

And I sort of wish someone would be standing there… Now, don’t get me wrong, I like my own company a lot and I’m happy with my life (I’m an independent, stubborn Swedish girl), but having someone special is always nice… And it’s been quite a while now since I was touched, both on the inside and outside. A year ago I was deeply in love, but unfortunately I had to let that love go… And since then, I haven’t been able to let anyone in there.

Anyway, being all alone at home without hardly talking to anyone at all surely gives you time to think, a lot. However, I’ve been told by a friend that he doesn’t think I think enough… But I’ve also been told by another person that he thinks my mind travels with a thousand miles an hour. And I think that’s probaly more correct. It’s just that if I held on to all the thoughts that go through my mind, I wouldn’t have time to do anything else. And what a shame that would be, when there is so much fun out there to see and discover, so many amazing people to get to know and so much to learn. So maybe I come across as shallow at times, but I honestly don’t think I am.

What’s on my mind? Many things, all the time...

- Great book, I really think that author has a point.
- No, no one loves me (i.e. no text messages or missed calls when I check my phone)
- Gee, my arse is really not looking that good anymore.
- I need to start getting more engaged in my work. A real shame it’s not as challenging as I thought it would be…
- I wonder when I will meet “Mr Right”.
- I wonder if I all ready met him…
- No, no one loves me (i.e. no comments on my blog)
- I wonder if anyone reads it? Except E of course…
- I wonder if my grandma can see me here and I wonder what she thinks of me moving here (as I look up into the sky…). Hi! Wish I could have spent more time with you…
- Do the phone-lines really work? (Well at least some of my friends seem to think that they don’t, just because I live in an other country now...)
- God, I am really starting to look "old".
- I wonder if M still would think I’m the most beautiful woman (well not with this arse of course, and besides I already know that he met the girl with the best ass ever on his central America trip…)
- Why do I still think of him?! Just let it go girl…
- Now what should I do for my holidays… Where and when to go, who to see. Only 15 days. Weddings in Finland, Greece and Australia – there are no possible way I can do it all…
- I just wish this sore throat would go away.
- Maybe I should go to work anyway…
- My god, how can they run the company so un-organized? And how can they ever be as success full as they are…?
- I just feel frustrated all the time about all these toys that I thought I was supposed to do something with… and here I am and don’t seem to get anywhere with them.
- Yes! Beijing in the end of May will be such a great long weekend!!
- I wonder what I do wrong in my relationships… I’ve been told that I am so special, but apparently not special enough…
- Should I buy myself a new pair of jeans?

Thoughts, thought in just a minute or two. That’s what’s on my mind, that’s how I work, that’s who I am. Like it or not.

4 comments:

Evalinn said...

Hey Ullis, it´s nice u share your thoughts! I´ve also been doing a lot of thinking lately...and I´m also sick. Too much stress for my stomach to take. We´re a lot of people who care a lot about u, and even if we´re not Mr Right, I hope that counts too!

ulrica said...

E, You know it does!! And I know you do! In hindsight I think my Rapunzel piece maybe came out more negative then it actaully was meant or even felt...

(And the "no no-one loves me" comment is a product of being on Spada, and that was just something we used to say when we didn't receive any texts or emails... i.e getting a text message = getting love/being loved... So it's not at all as bad as it sounds!)

Big hug to you and hope you feel better soon!!

Unknown said...

I would still travel a thousand miles just to see you belly dance :-)

ulrica said...

my dearest prince,
aren't you just the sweetest!!